A “Lestrygonians” Preview and 13 Good Reasons

By JERRY GRIT

There are many reasons I’ve gone astray the last few weeks and haven’t been administering to full capacity. Here are 13 good ones…

1. I moved.
2. To a fixer-upper.
3. I got a metal shared in my eye.
4. It rusted.
5. It infected my eye.
6. I assembled these chairs.

They sort-of work, too.

7. I also painted them.

I mostly painted them.

8. My cat is an unrelenting attention magnet.

How could you resist this pussens?

9. I’ve been downturned by the Great American Downturn.
10. I’ve been working on upturning.
11. I’ve upturned.
12. I weeded this yard.

I haven’t weeded in a decade.

13. Hey, I freaking moved!

But this is all behind us…all but for the infection and the cat. I am now able to focus my sophomoric scholarship and feeble wit on the next episode in Ulysses, “Lestrygonians”!

If you remember from my fun summary of the relevant episode from The Odyssey, this was the apex of Odysseus’ douche-y-ness. Peeved because 2 crew members let the air out of the Aeolus bag, he basically sets up his entire fleet to be shish kabob’d by a bunch of giants.

Turning to Ulysses, we’ll be thinking about who gets (metaphorically) eaten. And get ready for Bloom’s erotic musings!

Much thanks to Brendan for ably taking on the “Aeolus” episode. Tweets start tomorrow!

A Time for Heroes…

By JERRY GRIT

To take a break from the unrelenting tour of death and loss in “Hades,” we will (Bloom-like) distract ourselves with an administrative matter.

Simply, we need heroes. We need heroes to take on the remaining 7 chapters that have yet to be claimed in our history-making social media-enhanced reading of Ulysses.  You could put it on your resume!

The hero that I am, I will step up and take a few. But I can’t be the only one. (And it would be plain wrong for a dude to run “Penelope”…but I’ll do it. I’ll impose my phallocentric bias on Molly Bloom’s chapter-long streaming conscious. I don’t care. I don’t want to hear any bitching.)  

Here’s where we’re at*…

I changed the color scheme, so that should help.

Ben Vore and I have already been inducted into the Hall of Fame for having done 2 chapters already. Don’t you want this honor? 

If you’re unsure which one to take, let me touch on the interests/skills/dispositions that might be appropriate for the remaining chapters:

• Aeolus: Marketing, Journalism, Advertising
• Laestrygonians: Food, Feelings of Inadequacy 
• Scylla and Charybdis: Shakespeare, Socrates
• Wandering Rocks: Associative Logic, Pornography
• Nausicaä: Sentimental/Romantic Art & Literature, Masturbation
• Ithaca: Homemaking/Entertaining, Disappointment
• Penelope: Crazy Ladies

If any of these aspects correspond with anything in your disposition, anything that will enable you to speak to these issues, then let’s do this thing!

If you’re still unsure, consider the testimonials from those heroes who have already conquered a chapter:

I am a much better person now.  Thank you for saving my life.  –Ben Vore

It was the final missing piece in the incomplete puzzle of my life. –Erin Vore

When I finished Calypso, like Leeroy at the end of “The Last Dragon”, I achieved The Glow! I’m still glowing and catching bullets with my teeth! Thank you, James Joyce! —Lizaanne

Be a master, take a chapter!

———————————-

*Please note: I have since rescinded breaking up the longer chapters. That strategy was, apparently, DOA.

Process Comment: Pacing

By ANDREW CASHMERE

When you break it down to it’s most simple level, therapy is about change. A person is doing or feeling or something they don’t like and would like to change what they are doing or feeling. The different theoretical orientations (Psychodynamic, Cognitive-Behavioral, Humanistic) conceptualize how to bring about change differently, but all aim to help the client change. During therapy, client and therapist talk about what the client is doing or feeling and how to bring about change, but occasionally things get stuck and the therapist needs to make a comment about the process of change. I like process comments. They are fun and usually lead somewhere interesting.

All of us fall into one of two groups. Either we have not read Ulysses or do not appreciate it as much as we would like. We are in the process of changing those conditions. Here is a process comment: the pace at which we are reading Ulysses feels really fast. Really, really fast. In fact, I think I have whiplash. I was struggling to keep up until Friday. Then I went out of town for a wedding, came back this afternoon, and now I feel completely lost and that I’ll never catch up. I can’t even keep up with the comments. And we haven’t even finished the first week. And holy shit, you people know a lot more about what is going on than me.

I’m not saying we need to slow down. If everyone else is comfortable than I’ll just learn to deal with it, but I would feel better if at least one other person feels like the dumb kid in class right now. Anyone else feel dumb? (sound of crickets)

UPDATE: Administrator’s Note on “Process Comment: Pacing”
By JERRY GRIT

I was saving this for a moment of crisis…

Yes, that’s Marilyn Monroe reading Ulysses, and look how far she is!

Let this be encouragement to you all. Whether reading poolside in bikinis, Grand Canyon-side in climbing boots, or post-wedding with a completely inappropriate cognitive therapy theoretical orientation, if Marilyn can do it on a merry-go-round, you can too.