A “Lestrygonians” Preview and 13 Good Reasons

By JERRY GRIT

There are many reasons I’ve gone astray the last few weeks and haven’t been administering to full capacity. Here are 13 good ones…

1. I moved.
2. To a fixer-upper.
3. I got a metal shared in my eye.
4. It rusted.
5. It infected my eye.
6. I assembled these chairs.

They sort-of work, too.
They sort-of work, too.

7. I also painted them.

I mostly painted them.
I mostly painted them.

8. My cat is an unrelenting attention magnet.

How could you resist this pussens?
How could you resist this pussens?

9. I’ve been downturned by the Great American Downturn.
10. I’ve been working on upturning.
11. I’ve upturned.
12. I weeded this yard.

I haven't weeded in a decade.
I haven’t weeded in a decade.

13. Hey, I freaking moved!

But this is all behind us…all but for the infection and the cat. I am now able to focus my sophomoric scholarship and feeble wit on the next episode in Ulysses, “Lestrygonians”!

If you remember from my fun summary of the relevant episode from The Odyssey, this was the apex of Odysseus’ douche-y-ness. Peeved because 2 crew members let the air out of the Aeolus bag, he basically sets up his entire fleet to be shish kabob’d by a bunch of giants.

Turning to Ulysses, we’ll be thinking about who gets (metaphorically) eaten. And get ready for Bloom’s erotic musings!

Much thanks to Brendan for ably taking on the “Aeolus” episode. Tweets start tomorrow!

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4 Responses

  1. Hope your eye gets better– I have had an on-going issue with an eye-related allergy since last year, and it is terribly frustrating.
    I suppose this means I should actually read the book, though, huh. Have been on a 2 week hiatus while I geared up for school. Can we say 168 seventh graders?

  2. The eye is getting better. And perhaps it will sensitize me to the “sight” issues in Ulysses, as well as to the eye problems long suffered by Joyce.

    168 seventh graders? Can we say Pre-Teen Battle Royale?

  3. INDEED. Actually, they are being beautiful right now, but that won’t last. My saving grace is that they are bad at math, so it takes them until Feb. to figure out that there are more of them than there are of me. At which point, said battle ensues. 😉 Ulysses tomorrow!

  4. Why didn’t you call us to help you move?

    I thought that’s what friends were for.

    Your chairs look comfy.

    For us to poop on.

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