Odyssey Funmaries #18: Penelope (Book XXIII) **FINAL!**

By BROOKE JACKSON
As the first lady to contribute to Wandering Rocks, it is of course appropriate that I be the one funmarizing about our hero’s first lady, Penelope.
So as we know by now, back at the ranch, Penelope is on year 20 of same sh*t, different day. She has waited, weaved, unweaved, weaved again, unweaved [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #17: Ithaca (Books XVII-XX)

By MARK HOOBLER
 
For all of our 4 books to funmarized below, our hero, the wily Odysseus, Sacker of Cities & Goddesses, goes about incognito as a beggar. Why does he do this? Why not just run into his home, or castle, and shout that he is back? Why does he not run up to Penelope [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #16: Eumaeus (Books XIII-XVI)

By TAD SMITH

First of all, my apologies to the millions of followers who were anxiously waiting with bated breath on Saturday for OF #16.  As I mentioned to Jerry,  I ran into a bit of a perfect storm this weekend.  Octogenerians, my 5-week old nephew, a hot air balloon race, 2 hours of traffic, a [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #15: Oxen of the Sun (Book XII.CCLXXXII-CDXCI)

By ANDREW CASHMERE
What a shitty trip. Odysseus must be a distant relative of Clark Griswold. Let’s look at the parallels.
Clark Griswold: Aunt Edna dies in her sleep. Clark and the family must drive their dead aunt to a relative’s house, earning bonus points for driving cross-country in the rain with a dead [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #14: Wandering Rocks (Book XII.LXI-LXXX)

by BEN VORE
Today’s Funmary takes us backward in chapter 12, to Circe’s speech to Odysseus after he has ascended from Hades but before he encounters the Sirens, Scylla & Charybdis and the Oxen of the Sun (coming tomorrow!). The text amounts to a mere 19 lines, and yet Jerry Grit has chosen these lines to [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #13: Scylla & Charybdis (Book XII.CCLIX-CCCXXXVIII)

By TAD SMITH
Just to recap our adventures with the Sirens………

Absolutely available on iTunes. Absolutely 5 star ratings.
Wax-free and arguably hornier (at least based on the fine piece of artwork above), Odysseus & crew find themselves approaching Scylla & Charybdis, a duo rivaled by maybe one or two others in terms of utter awesomeness.
You may [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #12: The Sirens (Book XII.I-CCXVII)

“Keep that beeswax lodged in tight, boys!”*
by BEN VORE
The Sirens episode in The Odyssey is among its best-known, and even someone who has never read the epic poem likely still has a mental picture of Odysseus lashed to the mast, or has once referenced some beguiling temptation as “a siren song” which must be resisted. [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #11: Hades (Book XI)

By JERRY GRIT
I will efficiently deal with this book in the 3 parts. Part 3’s most relevant to Ulysses.
PART 1: The Trip Down
Odysseus continues the long version of his story to the Phaeacians … he attempts to cut it short, but one of them claims that, “The night’s still young, I’d say the night’s endless”[11.422]. We’ve all [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #10: Circe (Book X.CXLVI-DCXXXI)

By MARK HOOBLER
Have you ever had a relationship end with someone telling you to “go to hell”? Count yourself lucky they were only being metaphorical. But our hero Odysseus has a funny way with the ladies.  So when Odysseus’ latest ‘island girl’ turns his shipmates into groveling swine at the beginning of the relationship, you [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #9: Laestrygonians (Book X.XXVIII-CXLV)

By JERRY GRIT
A lot happens here, but Odysseus is suspiciously short on the details.
Odysseus continues his woeful story to the Phaeacians. After losing the magical whooppee cushion (no Vore-esque restraint here), Odysseus describes how his fleet rows dejectedly for 6 days and ends up of the land of the Laestrygonians.
In the calm cove, all of the [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #8: Aeolus (Book X.I-LXXXVII)

Aeolus blows.
by BEN VORE
Pop quiz, hot shot!
Aeolus was:

possibly schizophrenic with thrice-split personalities;
a strong advocate for inbreeding;
fond of giving his guests the four winds in an ox-skin sack;
dispenser of immortal curses;
all of the above.

You know this one! It’s #5. (Incest! Gross!)
After a harrowing escape from an OCD Unabomber Cyclops, Ulysses starts gloating a bit prematurely. His [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #7: Cyclops (Book IX.LXXI-DCXXX)

By JERRY GRIT
Here we have the worst house guests in all antiquity vs. the worst host, in a competition for last.
Odysseus continues his tale of sorrow to the nagging Phaeacians (who aren’t letting the poor guy go). After fleeing the Lotus Dopers, and still way off course, his fleet of twelve ships runs aground [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #6: The Lotus Eaters (Book IX.I-LXX)

by BEN VORE
Those of you still reeling from yet another pastel color-coded schedule should take comfort in today’s assignment for The Lotus Eaters, an episode from The Odyssey which merits — wait for it — a whopping 25 lines. Thus, this funmary is going to have three primary objectives:

Detailed exploration of margin settings and font [...]

Odyssey Funmaries … THE REVISED SCHEDULE!

A quarter of the way through, popularity for the funmaries is through the roof! And folks are hungry for a piece of the action. We are scheduled to have 4 new contributors to our fun review of Homer’s Odyssey in preparation for our reading of James Joyce’s Ulysses.
Tad, Mark Hoobler (deuce!), Andrew Sweeney, and Brooke (it’s [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #5: Nausicaa (Book VI)

By JERRY GRIT
The events of this next book play out like an eighties sitcom.
Odysseus washes up on the Phaeacian shore after Poseidon tries to kill him with another storm. He’s also butt-naked, that’s how strong the storm was.
While Odysseus recovers on the shore, Athena goes to Nausicaa, the young daughter of the Phaeacian king, Alcinous. [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #4: Calypso (Book V)

by BEN VORE
With the Calypso episode, we now confront the sensitive topic of mortal/immortal relationships. Few have ever embarked on so thorny a courtship, which is why Odysseus and Calypso’s relationship bears scrutiny. What are the red flags to watch out for when dating a mortal? The pitfalls of bedding up with a goddess? Are [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #3: Proteus (Book IV)

By JERRY GRIT
Let me start this funmary by saying … and this probably doesn’t have much to do with our Ulysses reading (but a helluva more relevant than Ben’s Nestor, the Long-Eared Donkey reference) … that this Helen of Troy person is one piece of work.
This lady…yeesh.
Events proceed according to Athena’s most ridiculous plan ever (Athena, *not* the [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #2: Nestor (Book III)

by BEN VORE
First off, let’s dispel some misconceptions that have been passed down through the ages concerning King Nestor:

Though described (in the Fagles translation) as a “breaker of horses,” Nestor was not — as has been widely rumored — the Greek equivalent of Luca Brasi. (Consider.) “Breaker of horses” can be roughly translated as an [...]

Odyssey Funmaries #1: Telemachus (Books I-II)

By JERRY GRIT
So how does an epic poem begin? With an invocation to the muse, of course. The writer (or more properly, the singer) asks for the strength to tell the story of “the man of twists and turns”…i.e., Odysseus. I wonder how Ulysses will begin?
The singer catches us up on how things are. Things [...]

Odyssey Funmaries…THE SCHEDULE!

By JERRY GRIT
Tad’s comment yesterday made me realize that I needed to be clearer about what and when we’re funmarizing from the Odyssey.
As I mentioned, Joyce plays it pretty loose with the events he uses from the Odyssey to structure Ulysses. The events Joyce uses in Ulysses do not occur in the same order as [...]